The Bells
by MiyaHikari
Summary: Six years ago, antisocial, workaholic L had the one and only love of his life, and she changed everything. But what happened... when L lost his entire world in a single night?
1. What Happened To You?

Alright so here's my first - uploaded - fanfic! =) I'm having major uploading issues, so if this looks weird, that's why. anyways, just a couple notes: the girls' name is Hikari, and no it's not because she's supposed to me. it's just that Hikari means Light and of course at the present L is living with someone named Light... it's just for some added drama. just wanted to make that clear. and just so there's no confusion, the timing is set before Light remembers he is Kira and before they have the prominent Higuchi lead. I made the date September 21st - I have no clue if that actually follows the timing of the series... ^.^" that's all I'm gonna say for now. Enjoy!

* * *

"Has anyone seen Ryuzaki?" asked Light, motioning to his un-handcuffed wrist. "I thought he would be here by now."

"Yes, it is really strange for him to be late." Soichiro replied, turning to face his son. "What was he doing last night?"

"Nothing. When I fell asleep he was awake and just staring out the window. He did look depressed, I have to admit. This morning he unlocked my handcuffs and told me to head straight downstairs. I haven't seen him since."

"Maybe you should go check on him." suggested Matsuda. "Especially if he seems depressed. I mean, you guys are pretty close, right?"

Light scowled and turned back to his computer. _It's not like we have a choice._ He thought to himself, then sighed. L did consider Light to be his only friend, after all.

"Well... I would, but he would probably get mad at me for not staying here."

"I'll walk up with you." said Soichiro. "So Ryuzaki knows you couldn't have done anything suspicious."

Light deliberated for a minute. "...Okay. Fine."

Father and son both stood and began to head up the staircase. They walked into the living room and Light paused at the bedroom door to knock.

"Ryuzaki? You in there? You okay?"

It was silent for about a whole minute, then the door slowly opened.

"What do you want...Light?" asked L. Light peered at him in confusion. His voice was slow, exhausted and very... sad. And it seemed he had a hard time saying Light's name for some reason.

"Um... well... we were worried since you hadn't come down yet... is everything alright?"

L slowly lifted his gaze to look straight into Light's eyes. His usually emotionless eyes were uncharacteristically filled with words, a look that told Light all he needed to know.

"Um, Otousan? I need to speak with Ryuzaki alone for a moment."

Soichiro nodded. "I'll be downstairs." he replied, leaving. Light went into the bedroom and closed the door, then grabbed L's sleeve and pulled him over to the bed where he pushed on his shoulders to make him sit. L automatically pulled his knees up to his chest as Light rolled the desk chair in front of L so he could face him. L had not resisted or glanced at Light once the entire time.

"Talk to me, Ryuzaki. Tell me what's wrong."

It once again took a long moment before L responded. When he did, he looked at Light with the same expression he had before.

The one that said, _No, nothing is alright. How the hell could anything ever _be_ right? You just don't know, do you? So leave me alone._

"I do not want to talk to you, Light. Go away."

"I will not go away until you tell me why you are depressed and not working on the case."

L let out a deep frustrated breath and swallowed carefully, closing his eyes and pressing his pale fingers to his temples.

"It's not your business, Light. Please leave me alone."

"Ryuzaki... L. I want to help you."

"Go to hell, Light." L said unexpectedly, glaring murderously at the surprised teen.

Light stared at the trembling man in front of him in utter shock. What could have possibly happened that's making him act so strange?

Light quickly recovered and snatched the handcuffs from the desk, snapping it onto L and himself.

"What are you-?!"

L's shout was cut short as Light yanked him up but the arms and began to pull him forward, stretching the chain taut.

"Shut up. We're going downstairs to work because there's a mass murderer out there right now and our job is to catch him. We have no time to be depressed."

L jerked the chain back, pulling Light to a stop. "I am not leaving this room, Light Yagami. And you had better not try to make me." his voice was calm and controlled, but anyone could detect the threatening undertone.

Light looked straight at L's eyes. They were furious, frustrated...

And the most despondent, forlorn things he had ever seen in his life. He slowly let the chain go slack.

"L... what happened to you?" he whispered.

"Has anyone seen Ryuzaki?" asked Light, motioning to his un-handcuffed wrist. "I thought he would be here by now."

"Yes, it is really strange for him to be late." Soichiro replied, turning to face his son. "What was he doing last night?"

"Nothing. When I fell asleep he was awake and just staring out the window. He did look depressed, I have to admit. This morning he unlocked my handcuffs and told me to head straight downstairs. I haven't seen him since."

"Maybe you should go check on him." suggested Matsuda. "Especially if he seems depressed. I mean, you guys are pretty close, right?"

Light scowled and turned back to his computer. _It's not like we have a choice._ He thought to himself, then sighed. L did consider Light to be his only friend, after all.

"Well... I would, but he would probably get mad at me for not staying here."

"I'll walk up with you." said Soichiro. "So Ryuzaki knows you couldn't have done anything suspicious."

Light deliberated for a minute. "...Okay. Fine."

Father and son both stood and began to head up the staircase. They walked into the living room and Light paused at the bedroom door to knock.

"Ryuzaki? You in there? You okay?"

It was silent for about a whole minute, then the door slowly opened.

"What do you want...Light?" asked L. Light peered at him in confusion. His voice was slow, exhausted and very... sad. And it seemed he had a hard time saying Light's name for some reason.

"Um... well... we were worried since you hadn't come down yet... is everything alright?"

L slowly lifted his gaze to look straight into Light's eyes. His usually emotionless eyes were uncharacteristically filled with words, a look that told Light all he needed to know.

"Um, Otousan? I need to speak with Ryuzaki alone for a moment."

Soichiro nodded. "I'll be downstairs." he replied, leaving. Light went into the bedroom and closed the door, then grabbed L's sleeve and pulled him over to the bed where he pushed on his shoulders to make him sit. L automatically pulled his knees up to his chest as Light rolled the desk chair in front of L so he could face him. L had not resisted or glanced at Light once the entire time.

"Talk to me, Ryuzaki. Tell me what's wrong."

It once again took a long moment before L responded. When he did, he looked at Light with the same expression he had before.

The one that said, _No, nothing is alright. How the hell could anything ever be right? You just don't know, do you? So just leave me alone._

"I do not want to talk to you, Light. Go away."

"I will not go away until you tell me why you are depressed and not working on the case."

L let out a deep frustrated breath and swallowed carefully, closing his eyes and pressing his pale fingers to his temples.

"It's not your business, Light. Please leave me alone."

"Ryuzaki... L. I want to help you."

"Go to hell, Light." L said unexpectedly, glaring murderously at the surprised teen.

Light stared at the trembling man in front of him in utter shock. What could have possibly happened that's making him act so strange?

Light quickly recovered and snatched the handcuffs from the desk, snapping it onto L and himself.

"What are you-?!"

L's shout was cut short as Light yanked him up but the arms and began to pull him forward, stretching the chain taut.

"Shut up. We're going downstairs to work because there's a mass murderer out there right now and our job is to catch him. We have no time to be depressed."

L jerked the chain back, pulling Light to a stop. "I am not leaving this room, Light Yagami. And you had better not try to make me." his voice was calm and controlled, but anyone could detect the threatening undertone.

Light looked straight at L's eyes. They were furious, frustrated...

And the most despondent, forlorn things he had ever seen in his life. He slowly let the chain go slack.

"L... what happened to you?" he whispered.

L turned away and walked out of the bedroom to go look out the window. Light followed and stood beside him.

"She died." L whispered so quietly Light had to lean toward him to catch it.

Silence settled like a dark, heavy blanket.

"Six years ago today, she died." He continued after the prolonged silence, moving to face Light, unsuccessfully trying to hide the anguish in his voice and eyes. Light gazed into those eyes until finally he wordlessly unlocked the handcuffs, leaving them and the key on the counter as he left. As he was closing the door he saw L still standing in the same spot, arms wrapped around himself, shaking as the tears streamed from his tightly closed eyes. Light knew L would not want him there.

~*~

L stood rooted in that one spot for quite some time, letting the relief of crying wash through him. He was grateful to Light's perception; if Light had stayed it would have made this much harder.

When he finally regained his ability to move he went back into the bedroom and closed the door, glad that this room had curtains to block out the glaring midday sunlight. He curled up in a tight ball on the bed and pulled the covers entirely over him. Even with that he began to shiver, thinking of how it felt when she had laid beside him... usually he blocked those memories out, never allowing them to enter his mind at all, but now they were suddenly everything, everything he knew and saw. Every September 21st would always be the worst... and yet the best day of his life. The worst because it was the day he lost everything, but the best because it was the only day he could think of her...

The tears still flowing gently, L fell into a trembling sleep whispering, "Aishiteru..."

* * *

* 'Aishiteru' is 'I love you' in Japanese.


	2. The First Day

A/N: L may seem slightly out of character here, but keep in mind he is younger and a lot more impatient... not to mention he's constantly surrounded by people which, as we know, he hates. Just a quick pointer. =)

* * *

L sighed as he slouched into class. This was so _boring_. He wondered why he even bothered. He was 19 and already established as L; why bother with college? But nobody could know he was L so until he was at an acceptable age to disappear from college he knew he would just have to stay.

Besides, watching the people in his classes was always funny. It could take people up to a couple _minutes_ to find an answer. Honestly. Are they _serious_?

He hurried to his seat (in the back corner, of course) as he saw others begin to take theirs. To his immense surprise, there was someone already sitting in his!

_That's odd._ He thought with a frown. _There's usually no one even in this row._

As he got closer he saw it was a girl with light-colored hair pulled back into a quick ponytail. She was scribbling in a notebook, occasionally looking up and tapping her pencil as she thought, then bending back over her work to scribble some more. He also noticed she was sitting with her feet tucked under her instead of on the floor unlike everyone else on the planet; they all seemed to enjoy adopting the same position for some reason.

The whole scene was strangely fascinating to L.

But at that moment the professor walked into the classroom so L slid swiftly into his seat, assuming his typical curled posture.

"Oh, hello!" said the girl with a welcoming smile. "I'm sorry, did I take your seat?"

L stared at her warily. _Did she just say hello to _me_? And no comments on how I sit? That has to be a first. Who _is_ this girl?_

"It's no problem. My name is Kokishin." he said, using his current alias.

"Hikari." she replied, smiling again. "Nice to meet you."

"Likewise." said L, still slightly wary. "How come I haven't seen you before?"

"I just started this class. I want to brush up some deduction and problem-solving skills, so the teacher is letting me come in when I have breaks. I don't think I'm actually getting any sort of official credit for this class..." she said thoughtfully.

"I see." L responded, his mind far away. _She's certainly different._

He was about to ask something else but then the teacher began to address the class and he didn't have a chance to speak again.

~*~

Class was finally dismissed one eternity of an hour later. Hikari quickly grabbed her things and headed over to the crowd around the teacher to wait for her chance to speak with him. L watched her do this then slowly got up himself and headed for the door, ignoring the snickers from his immature classmates.

"Having troubles, Kokishin?" sneered one boy. L ignored him.

"What's the matter? You were concentrating so hard I thought you were going to explode! Don't understand any of this smart stuff, do ya freak?"

"Probably not." said another boy, joining the first one. L still did not turn to face them, he just cracked his knuckles in his pockets. "Have you seen how he sits? I think he's just stupid or something." they snickered.

L whirled, yanking his hand from his pocket and shoving it in their faces. They jerked away from the fist about an inch from their foreheads, which held a crumpled piece of paper.

"110%, At. What's your grade?" L asked, putting the report card back in his pocket and turning away. No reason to waste his strength.

The boys muttered something and walked huffily from the classroom.

L smirked but then ran a hand over his face. Why couldn't these idiots just leave him alone?

He was about to leave when the teacher called him over. Hikari was still standing there and she smiled warmly at him.

"Yes, sensei?" asked L boredly.

The teacher started saying something about how L never took notes and that sitting like that couldn't be healthy... just the routine lecture.

"I have an At in this class and if I did not sit like I do my deduction skills would be lowered by approximately 40%." interrupted L. "So there should be no reason for you to complain." And at that he turned and walked away.

"Oh, I'll talk to you tomorrow alright sensei? I have something I need to get to." L heard Hikari say in a rushed voice. Then the door closed and she called, "Kokishin! Wait up!"

L paused and turned. "Yes, Hikari?" he asked, feeling slightly confounded. Since when did someone call for him? No one ever talks to L...

She came up beside him quickly in the almost-deserted hallway. "Wow, is that really true?"

"Is what true?" L asked, beginning to walk again. Hikari fell in step beside him.

"The sitting thing."

"Oh, that? Yes, it is."

"That's so interesting!"

"You think so?"

"Mmhmm. Especially to me, because I'm in some psychology classes and so things that are even more fascinating when you find out why. Plus it's just extremely cool!"

"Mmm. I'm taking a psychology class as well. Which one is yours?"

"The one with Kori-sensei."

"Yours is a lot different than mine then."

"Really? Huh. I didn't realize there were others."

"Yes. Mine is one designed for teaching you how to detect what people are thinking and feeling by things like their body language and tone of voice." he explained.

"Wow... that sounds very interesting. Hey, I have a question."

"I'll try to have an answer."

"Could I do some research on the whole deduction-skills-and-sitting thing? I need to write a paper anyways, so..."

"What would this research entail exactly?"

"Some questions, perhaps a picture or two for anatomy analysis, that sort of thing."

"That sounds fine."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Oh, thanks so much!" she sounded really excited. L glanced at her curiously.

"Why are you talking to me?"

Hikari looked confused and her face fell. "Oh, am I bothering you?"

"No, nothing like that!" L replied quickly, appalled. Why would she think it was something she did? "It's just that no one ever talks to me is all."

Hikari frowned and tilted her head as she looked at L. "I can't imagine why not. You are an enthralling conversationalist."

L looked away. Conversationalist? Since when? He was the most recluse and unsociable person ever!

"Did I say something wrong?" Hikari asked meekly.

"I've just never been called anything like that before. It's very different for me. Usually I'm just given a hard time." L said tiredly, walking over to a bench and sitting down. Hikari took up her previous position, facing him.

"People are stupid. Ignore them." Hikari said, leaning her cheek against the back of the bench.

"Well anyways... what other classes besides the class we were just in and psychology do you have?"

"Let's see... language and literature... some music and drama... some math and science for review... critical thinking skills... and an extra drawing class on Saturdays." she paused. "But I'm really bad at that."

"Ah, so you're very artistic."

"I guess so. I have an eclectic range of interests. I like things that are different. What classes do you have?"

L smiled grimly. "Law, criminal investigations, police force, detective and investigative skills. You get the idea."

"Wow. Impressive. So you're going to be a crime fighter?"

"Pretty much. That's the general idea, anyways."

Hikari thought for a moment. "You know, in this day and age, that career path is just getting tougher and tougher. There's so much controversy and corruption involved... right and wrong has such a blurred a dividing line..."

"That's why I'm doing it. I plan to be justice."

Hikari smiled. "That's a good goal. It reminds me a current new detective... I hear he is very good. The only difference is he is very mysterious."

"Who?" L asked, feigning innocence.

"He's called L; that's all I know. Have you heard of him?"

L held back a chuckle, clearing his throat instead. "Yes, yes I have." L thought for a moment and then continued on to another topic. "You know how you want that habit of mine to be the subject of your paper?"

Hikari nodded.

"Well, I have a paper due too... I believe the matter is on stereotypes. Do you mind if I use you as my subject? I'll just need to ask you some questions."

"That's fine with me!" she replied, grinning.

"Great." L checked his watch. "I'm sorry, but I have to get going."

"Oh, alright." Both stood up and shook hands.

"It was nice talking to you!"

"I agree. Will I see you in class tomorrow?"

"I believe so, Kokishin. Have a good day!"

"You too." he replied, and then he left, leaving Hikari thinking about she just the coolest conversation of her life with the coolest person she had ever met.

~*~

L was abruptly jerked awake as the last image faded from his eyelids. He looked around, disoriented and then disillusioned. It wasn't real. His head fell heavily back onto the pillow as he ran through the entire scene again on fast forward. That had been the first conversation they had, and somehow his brain had found it and put it in his dreams.

Peeling the covers from his head he rolled his head back to glance at the clock. It was only about 2:00 in the afternoon, and he really didn't want to go see or talk to anyone. So he pulled the covers back over his head and prayed fervently for another dream to come...

* * *

T_T poor L...

Wow... he has such low self esteem! ._. But that's just because he's so antisocial. That - along with him just following his natural detective instincts- is why he keeps commenting on Hikari's niceness. Just another pointer. ;)


	3. Time and Truth

It was June 9th, just about 2 months since L and Hikari's meeting. They had finished their reports, hung out some more, and were now enjoying the last couple weeks of school before their break.

But L noticed something was wrong.

Hikari was always so... so happy to see him. And he had no idea why. She was always so nice and complimented him generously, and he still didn't understand why she wanted to talk to him, though he did enjoy their conversations. He had never really had an actual conversation before. It was nice. She always had questions, endless questions, and loved to learn. And L had a lot of knowledge to share with her.

L was getting worried about a couple things though. One was that Hikari didn't seem to have really any friends. They avoided her, and L was 89% certain it was because of him.

The other thing was that though Hikari seemed to be happy, occasionally he would catch her staring off into the distance with a sad look in her eyes. When he walked up to her and she was sitting alone she would just look so _lost_. He suspected that she was in some sort of pain; but he didn't know how to help her.

L was crouched on a bench thinking of these things when Hikari came up and sat beside him.

"Hey Kokishin." she greeted him with a smile, as usual.

"Hello Hikari. How are you?"

"Tired. You?"

"Yes, I'm tired too."

Hikari sighed and leaned back, closing her eyes. L examined her surreptitiously as she breathed deeply and shadows danced on her eyes and cheeks and a light wind stirred her hair.

"Hey, Kokishin..." she began after a couple moments of silence.

"Yes?"

"Are you my friend?"

L blinked, taken aback. _Am I... her friend?_ He thought about it for a moment.

"Well, I... I suppose I am, yes."

Hikari smiled, eyes still closed. "That's good. I like having you as a friend."

L said nothing, but looked away, ignoring the urge that told him to say the same thing to her.

~*~

The next day Hikari was not in school. No one knew where she was; she was just written off as sick. But L knew better. Hikari loved school and nothing would keep her out of it. And if she was sick she would have called someone to tell them that.

_Why am I worrying so much?_ L thought, annoyed with himself. He was also wondering why he felt so down. It was like he had gotten used to Hikari's company... or something...

L sighed. _I _should not_ feel lonely. That's just not me._ But he knew he was.

He really had not had much human contact in his life. _Certainly_ never any friends. But somehow Hikari had managed to do it. That was a marvel in itself.

And now he missed her. It was pretty much the first day they had had apart since that first meeting, after all...

That night he called her for the first time... but she didn't answer.

_Where could she be?_

~*~

The day after that it began raining in the morning and did not let up. Hikari came to school but she was very... quiet, and her smiles were smaller. L asked her if she was okay, but she just shook her head and smiled.

"Just tired." she said, wrapping her jacket tighter around her.

L knew that wasn't all that was bothering her, but he didn't pursue the issue.

But as the long day wore on, he began to miss Hikari again. She was there, but just not all the way. Her eyes weren't as vibrant, her face was pale and didn't light up, her fingers shook and she hardly laughed.

And when L was walking down a hallway toward his next class he thought he saw her curled up against the wall... and possibly crying. He almost went to her but his teacher suddenly appeared behind him and he was ushered into class.

Though Wednesday's were typically long days with classes until dark, this one seemed to just stretch on for eternity. And finally L couldn't take it anymore.

"Hikari." He began as they were walking on their 6 o'clock break. "You have to tell me what's wrong."

She was quiet for a bit. "I..." she sighed. "I dunno. It's a lot of things. I'm just thinking."

L stopped walking. Hikari stopped and turned back towards him. "What is it?"

L let out a breath and ran a hand through his hair. _What am I supposed to say? That you have some sort of strange influence over me that makes me feel like a damn pushover for the first time in my life? That I'm so worried about you I don't know what to do with myself? That I've never been any sort of close to anyone in my life - ever? That I just don't know how I feel about anything anymore? That I don't think this relationship is healthy for me because I'm just not used to it? That I think I'm addicted to your smile? That I suddenly can't stop thinking about you and I have no idea why?_

L stood there, his mind in turmoil, trying to find the right words to say when suddenly...

He felt unexpected warmth as a body moved close to his and arms wrapped around his waist.

Hikari was hugging him. L was being hugged.

And without thinking, L was hugging her back.

They stood there for a long moment. L closed his eyes as the hug spread through him with a tingling, relieving warmth that loosened his muscles and quieted his brain.

It could have been a second or it could have been ten minutes, L didn't know, but when he finally pulled away Hikari was smiling again.

~*~

The smile mostly stayed until their last class ended the next day. It was about 8:30 and it had started raining again. Hikari mumbled something about meeting L outside in ten minutes before slipping out the door, staring down at the ground and clutching her books tightly.

L gathered his things and went to wait anxiously in their usual meeting spot. Everyone else had mostly gone home and so everything was quiet... except for the pouring rain.

L sighed and took the opportunity to try and think. He was getting dangerously close to Hikari, that much he knew. They spent as much time as possible together, and she probably knew more about him than anyone before. But he also knew her.

He sighed again as he began to think about her. Her funny habits, her uninhibited smile, her need to help people, to help L... how her face would glow when she finally understood something, how she always wanted to know more, how she could never lie about a single thing while looking at him... and then just her eyes as she looked at him... they just sparkled with admiration and happiness that L didn't know he deserved.

L knew it was wrong, but the more he thought about her, the more he began to want to be close to her. Just thinking about that one hug that day...

L remembered when they were taking about their favorite seasons in some conversation a while back. She had said winter, because people love to hug and cuddle in winter. He asked if she liked hugs. She said she never got enough.

L realized that by being with her he was exacerbating that fact by imposing his anti-social tendencies on her and by scaring other possible relationships away.

Yet she still stayed by L's side. Thinking about that made L feel a rush of gratitude; thinking about her with other relationships made L feel...

_What _was_ that feeling? It was like... like this crazy flash of heat that made me want to just grab her and run away! _He thought, perplexed.

_Wait... does that mean... do I want her?_ He thought in shock.

But he broke off those thoughts mid-sentence as he realized the time. Hikari hadn't come back yet.

L frowned and headed back toward the door Hikari had exited before, following the hall to the door on the opposite side of where L had been standing before. He opened it and stepped outside to find...

Hikari standing in the rain.

He blinked in confusion. What was she doing?

He watched her for a moment before finally stepping outside and walking across the pavement to join her.

She looked at him with surprise as he came up beside her. They just looked at each other for a moment until L asked, "What are you doing out here?"

Hikari gave a small smile, looking up at the sky. "I love the rain."

L pulled at the sleeve of her shirt. "You're completely soaked."

"I know." she paused to look up again, then she looked back at L. "Can you... can you hear the bells?"

L listened for a moment. "Yes. I've been hearing them all day."

"Me too. It's good to hear that I'm not the only one."

They were silent for a while, simply standing next to one another. At last L couldn't help it and he turned to face her, reaching out to gently pushing the hair from her face. He heard her quiet intake of breath. L's eyes flitted across her face and she looked up at him intently.

He put a hand on her cheek and held it there. She did not move away, only looked at him with almost pleading eyes.

L bit his lip and dropped his hand. _What am I doing?_ He thought, his tortured eyes unable to look away from hers. His heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest.

Hikari suddenly slid her hands over his shoulders and around his neck, pulling him toward her in a tight hug.

L clenched his eyes shut, desperately trying to resist.

"Hikari, I... I can't, I..." he whispered.

They pulled apart and Hikari looked down. L softly put a hand under her chin and lifted her gaze to his.

Then he leaned forward and their lips met.


	4. Memories

L moaned as he woke for the second time. Her taste had been so _real_, and he felt as though he could still feel her as he held her close.

He looked over at the clock again and sighed as he saw it was now 6:00.

He still didn't want to go downstairs, but now he was afraid to sleep. The next dream would not be a happy one.

_Get a grip, L._ He snapped at himself, trying to put his emotion filter back in place; he felt raw and exposed with so many uncharacteristic thoughts running through his head.

At that moment there was a knock at the door. "Come in." he called tonelessly, sitting up.

It was Watari. "How are you?" he asked, concerned. L knew what he meant.

"Not very well. My emotions are running all over the place, and I no longer want to sleep because I know what my next dream will be of."

"You've been dreaming about it?"

"Yes."

"What happens?"

L shifted uncomfortably. "Well... the first one was our first meeting. The second of our first kiss."

"And what happens after that?"

L went silent.

"I don't want to talk about it, Watari. You know what happened."

"Yes, alright... I was just offering."

"Thank you."

"Everyone is leaving early tonight. Light will be up shortly."

"Alright."

Watari left and L sighed, rubbing the back of his neck.

_Six years..._ he thought.

Then there was another light rap and Light opened the door.

"Hey, Ryuzaki."

"Hello."

Light walked inside and sat on the end of the bed.

"I suppose asking if you're okay would be pointless..."

"As I obviously am not." finished L.

"Yes."

They were silent. L felt his heart palpitate when he thought of the certain upcoming dream.

"Light... I'm going back to sleep. If I appear to be having a nightmare... whatever you do, don't wake me up, alright?"

Light nodded. "Alright."

"And I suppose we should be handcuffed again..." L mused, settling down into the bed. Light grabbed them and attached them to his and L's wrist, lying warily down beside him.

"Goodnight..." murmured L. Light switched off the lamp and began to quietly tap on his laptop.

"Goodnight."


	5. Love Is Strong As Death

L huddled against the back of the couch as Light handed him a cup of coffee. After giving L and awkward yet comforting hug he had led him out to the living room so they could talk.

L carefully took the warm cup in his shaking fingers, allowing himself to try a sip. It tasted like nothing. Nothing would ever compare to the taste of her blood on her lips as he kissed her that last time...

L shuddered. That last scene would not leave his head.

Light watched as the spasms of pain shot through L every now and again, and he hated having to make L talk about it. But he knew he had to help, and this was the only way.

"L..." Light began. L did not look at him. "First, why did you yell 'Light' before you awoke? It didn't sound as though you were calling for me..."

L's answer came slowly. "That... was her name. Light. Hikari." he flinched at the sound of it.

Light took deep breath. _Wow... we share almost the same name... that must be hard._ He studied L for a moment._ He looks like he's in so much pain..._

Then L began to speak.

"I will start at the beginning. I was 19, in college though already established as L, and under the alias of Kokishin." Light smiled slightly. _Kokishin... 'clever'. A fitting name. _L still stared gloomily ahead, not breaking his speech. "She was 18, almost 19, and in the same college as me. It ended up as us being the others only friend. I felt bad for that; if she hadn't been my friend I'm sure she would have had many others. But they avoided me and so began to avoid her. And by the time I figured that out it was too late. I couldn't let her go.

She was a perpetually happy person, or so it seemed. But I began to see her pain about two months after our first meeting. She finally told me what had happened to her a long, long time later." he paused. "Her mother died when she was very young and her father abandoned her after that. She was then raised by her brother, and he took good care of her, but... they were separated. She ran away and managed to get to Tokyo and go back to school." He paused again.

"I fell for her on the night of June 11th.

We were always together after that. I could not imagine living without her. She became everything to me. It was the first time I ever truly cared for someone." he stopped to glance at Light. "I suppose I was lying, then, that day I called you my first friend. But... the day after she was gone... my life before that day never existed." he sighed and closed his eyes before continuing.

"September 21st. We had moved in together, and I was out late. When I got home... the front door was open. I ran inside, calling for her. I found her, lying on the floor... bleeding. She told me someone had stabbed her, but she had waited for me to come home so she could... could die..." he drew a ragged breath.

"I... I had told her I was L... but I never did tell her my real name. I so regret that now..." he clenched his eyes shut but then opened them to look straight at Light.

"She died in my arms. The only person I have ever loved... I watched as her last breath was taken, I felt her fall still; I could taste her blood and I screamed as it shone in the moonlight...

And I never found the man who killed her."

Finished, he leaned his head back and took deep shuddering breaths.

Light stared. He couldn't believe it; it just didn't sound _real._ L, in love? The sugar-addicted, antisocial, insane and insanely dedicated investigator? _In love?!_

Not to mention his perfect record being burned by his inability to find the murderer...

_It does explain a lot, though._ Light thought. _His extreme dedication, his being unemotional and unsociable, his reclusion and unwillingness to let anyone close. He doesn't want to be hurt again. _Light deliberated a moment.

"L." he said finally, standing. "I am going to help you find the killer. I am going to help you bring justice. I am going to help you solve this case."

* * *

It took a LOT of frustration, (and many deletes) but I think I've just about got the hang of this site. *yay!* Anyways, this is what I have for now, but I just have to do some research and then I'll finish it up. Reviews are appreciated beyond belief!! Just lemme know you read it at least. ;)


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